I listen to a lot of podcasts, and one of the more interesting ones is "WTF with Marc Maron". Maron is a stand-up comedian who interviews other comics, and is all about getting to the root of what makes people who they are. Comedians are an interesting lot, because so much of what they do is based on observation and introspection, so Maron's interviews often get to some very frank and honest discussion of what makes people tick. Yesterday, I was listening to an interview he did with hugely successful Writer/Director/Producer Judd Apatow. One part in particular stood out to me. I've transcribed it below (Also, you can listen to it here, it's the first 2:30 of segment B).
Apatow: When we were making “Funny People”, and I thought a lot about comedy and why I was obsessed with it, a lot of it was about that. Why do I need that much approval? Is there any point where I get enough approval and I’m full? And I’ve realized that there is no point. I received a letter from Steven Spielberg. Steven Speilberg, who I used to work for, for a long time at Dreamworks, was trying to reach me to say that he liked “Knocked Up”, and I so wanted a letter from him. Paul Fieg got one when we made “Freaks and Geeks”, and I was so jealous that he got a letter saying that he loved “Freaks and Geeks”. And I didn’t return the call and I told my assistant ‘can you say Judd’s out of town, and is it possible he could write a note,’ just so I could have the letter. I knew a complement was coming, and I’m so wounded, I needed to have it forever. And he sent me the dream letter, a beautiful letter with nothing but kindness. You know, a great guy, just what you want to feel whole as a person. And now I have it. But what happened afterwards is I thought to myself, “This is the best you can do.” Who else do I want to complement me? How many of these do I need to feel good about my work and myself. And how it doesn’t last, and the wound is still there.
Maron: What is the wound? Cause I know I have it. Have you figured out what it is?
Apatow: I’m not sure exactly.
Apatow's statement reminded me of something else that I saw recently. It's a "60 Minutes" interview with Tom Brady from back in 2005, fresh off winning his 3rd Super Bowl.
These are two men who, as they describe, are at the very top of their professions.
Apatow has been wildly successful making comedic movies that are both financial hits and critically acclaimed. He's largely recognized as having influenced most of the comedies of the last few years. As you read above, he got what he describes as "the dream letter" praising his work from none other than Steven Spielberg, one of the most beloved legends of film making.
Brady, at the time of this interview, is living every red-blooded American's dream. He is the best player at the most important position in America's favorite sport. He has won the highest honor in football 3 times in 4 years. He is called "the most eligible bachelor in America". The guy is rich, famous, successful, handsome, and he's dating a Brazilian supermodel. Seriously, if life is a game, he's winning by a LOT.
Both of these men have gotten everything this world has to offer in their particular fields. They're successful now, and they've left a legacy behind, they'll be remembered when they're gone. They've done it, they've reached the goal. And yet, there's something missing. Apatow calls it "the wound". Despite the fact that he's gotten the greatest praise from his greatest idol, it doesn't last. It doesn't fill up that desire for love and recognition and affirmation. Brady reached the pinnacle of the American dream. He climbed the mountain, got to the top, and said "There's gotta be more than this." When faced with the question of "What is that thing you're missing?" though, neither man has an answer.
C.S. Lewis famously wrote "If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world." Lewis has an answer for Judd Apatow and Tom Brady. They're searching for something in this world that will fulfill them, that will complete them, and they haven't found it because they're looking in the wrong place. The solution to our longing isn't found in the things of this world, in accomplishments and accolades, it's found in Jesus Christ. There is nothing in the world that will fill that hole, because nothing in this world was made to fit that hole.
When Jesus said "For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul?" he wasn't just talking about the afterlife. You can gain the whole world and still not be fulfilled IN THIS LIFETIME. It's not just that you can't take it to heaven, it's that a life full of worldly accomplishments isn't going to satiate us even while we're still alive. That's why Augustine said "Our hearts are restless until they rest in you." It's why, despite the hardships and persecution which comes from the Christian life, Christ can say "I came that they may have life and have it abundantly."
Judd Apatow and Tom Brady have everything this world can offer, but they do not have abundant, fulfilled lives. There is only one way to mend "the wound", and it isn't the approval of peers or the body of a supermodel, it's the love of our savior.
Now, you could've read all that, or, for the same message, you could have skipped down to watch this video from my childhood:
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